Story 9
Hugo and Jin go on their last golf outing of the fall.
The Fine Points of Golf
“Hey, Lazy Bones,” Jin said, “do you want to golf at 4:00 today?”
“I am up for golf. But, let’s go at 3:00, Mini Brain. Since the time change, it’s dark by 6:00,” Hugo said.
“Oh, yeah, that’s right. I’ll meet you at the course at 3:00.” In the spring, Jin Shin made a plan to golf at least twice a week. His mom said he had to get off the couch and move around. Golf was his answer. All the walking was OK when he was having fun. Jin’s friend, Hugo Ortiz played with him now and then.
When Hugo was paying for his golf round, he also got a soda. The clerk said, “You don’t have to pay tax on the golf or the cart.” Hugo smiled. Then the clerk said, “Cart path only today. The ground is still soft from all that rain.”
When Jin got there, he was surprised to see Hugo’s cart. He said, “Aren’t you walking for the exercise?”
Hugo said, “No, I’m driving for the practice.”
“Great,” Jin said, “At least you’ve got a plan!” On the first hole, Jin hit a great drive. He danced around the tee singing, “What a golfer! Super golfer!” Hugo just rolled his eyes. Jin was on the green in two shots. It took Hugo five shots to get there. Jin did some more dancing and singing. Then, Hugo put his ball in with one putt. Jin putted five times and Hugo won the hole. Jin was not singing and dancing any more. Hugo said nothing. On the way to the next hole, Jin said, “Thanks for not rubbing it in. I guess that was pay back. Sorry.”
Hugo said, “I figured you needed the glory right then. I knew you were just having fun, Glory Guy! And, after all, it’s golf. We have to take note when it goes well. Crap shots are always just around the corner!” Jin hit another great drive on the second hole. This time he didn’t dance. Hugo said, “Good one!” Jin also did well on the next four holes.
Then, on the seventh hole, he shanked to the right. He threw his club and yelled. Hugo said, “Hey, you’ve just had six perfect drives. Give yourself a little slack. After all, you aren’t a pro golfer.”
Jin said, “Maybe I want to be a pro golfer. I’m only a junior in high school. I have time to get better.”
“Well….” Hugo began.
Two holes later, Hugo’s drive landed across the fairway from the cart path. He said, “I hate that cart path rule. I’m going to have to walk clear over there.”
Jin said, “Remember, walking is good for you!”
“Yeah, well, I paid for this cart, and I want to use it. I’m thinking about blowing the cart-path rule. No one’s watching.”
“Hey, down boy! You’ll leave ruts all across the fairway,” Jin said.
“Oh, I’m not really going to do it. I’m just ticked.” Hugo walked across the fairway and took his shot. When he came back to the cart, he asked, “Do you save all your golf sales slips for your taxes?”
“What are you talking about?” Jin asked. “I don’t have a job, so I don’t pay taxes. And, if I did, it wouldn’t matter. Golf can’t get taken off your taxes.”
Hugo said, “I think you are wrong. When I paid today, the clerk told me there was no tax on the golf or cart.”
“Now who’s the mini brain? He meant there was no sales tax. He didn’t mean no income tax on money you spend on golf.”
“Oh, I guess that makes sense,” Hugo said. “Darn! I liked the idea of lifelong golf coming off my taxes! And, what if I do take it off my taxes. Who’s really going to look that closely? And, what can they do to me if they do see it?”
“Well, the IRS will be looking. And, you can go to jail for tax dodging. I suggest you just pay for your golf. Forget about taking it off your taxes.”
“Well, when you put it that way….” Hugo said.
“And, besides, where is your country loyalty? Would you really want to cheat the government out of tax money?” Jin asked.
“I am loyal to my country. I don’t have to love taxes to love my country,” Hugo said. “One thing I don’t love, though, is cold weather. It’s going to get cold next week. I’m cleaning my clubs and putting them away for the winter. I’m done until spring.”
“Yeah, probably me, too,” Jin said. Jin hit his ball onto the green just a few inches behind Hugo’s. Hugo took a quarter out of his pocket to mark his ball. Jin handed him a dime. He said, “Use this. The quarter might make my ball swerve.” They finished the round and headed to their cars. Jin said, “This strap on my bag is loose. I think I need to tighten the screw.”
Hugo said, “I have screwdrivers in my car. What kind do you need?”
“Slotted,” Jin said. “Where’s your car?”
“Straight out from the flagpole. See, I love my country!”
What do you think?
- Jin golfs twice a week. Do you think that is enough exercise for a week?
- Do you think Hugo is right that he can dislike taxes and still love our country?
What would you do?
- Hugo is cleaning his clubs to put them away for the winter. Describe something that you do to get ready for a season change.
